It’s that time again. Another year is over and a new one is just begun. Millions of people around the world are making empty promises to themselves about the things in their lives that they want to change, how to better themselves and in turn, make their existences here on Earth a little fuller, a little kinder, a little thinner. Well, I don’t know, if you ask me, its all a bunch of crap. Listen, I’m not usually this cynical, I tend to be the one amongst the group that looks to the future with bright eyes and thoughts of change on the horizon. But I just feel like, every year, I make the same damn resolutions yet I never follow through: And something tells me I’m not alone in this. So therefore, I’ve decided to touch upon some of the ridiculous and most-likely-not-to-happen New Year’s resolutions that I think most of us should just stay away from.
First of all, and this is a big one for me, stop saying that you’re going to quit smoking! Seriously. While I encourage the ambition to do so, and have been struggling to do so myself, its just not gonna happen. When you think about it, if you really wanted to quit, you would. It wouldn’t have to be a holiday, you shouldn’t have to set a future date of, “On this day, I’ll have my last cigarette.” Truth of the matter is, is that yeah, I do want to quit. But unfortunately, at this point in my life, the addiction has a greater hold on me than my desire to be smoke free and healthy does, and being that smoking is, for many, a common stress relief, this is positively, absolutely, 100 percent the worst time of year to try and kick the habit. Come on, who are we kidding? Christmas, New Year’s, all the hustle and bustle and preparation for family gatherings, the worry over falling financially short while trying to buy gifts for your loved ones; it’s a smokers dream! I can’t even get two feet into any mall this time of year before I’m looking for the nearest exit to go outside for a quick fix! So, keep it real. Admit to yourself that you either truly want to quit or you don’t. If it turns out that you do, you will. Its just that simple.
Another popular New Year’s resolution: Losing weight. This one is a huge pet peeve of mine. As someone who works out regularly, I just don’t have the patience for people who complain all the time that they feel fat, shovel a shitload of Christmas cookies down their trap, and then do nothing about it! “After the New Year, I’m joining the gym and losing 20 pounds.” The way I see it, there’s no time like the present. I respect and admire people who make a conscious effort to stay in shape. But putting it off will get you nowhere. I know you think that setting a goal for yourself will do the trick, but it won’t, because as soon as New Year’s comes, you’ll hit the gym for the first few weeks at best only to fall right back into the same slump you were in the previous year. If you want to get healthy, go join a gym today (I realize this is a bit contradictory, being that this issue hits stands on New Year’s, but remember, I’m writing this a week beforehand, so technically, my foot is out of my mouth).
“I’m going to be a nicer person.” Really? Well thanks! But fuck you for being a complete asshole for your entire life before this. You should be nice, all the time, and it shouldn’t take the dawn of a new year for you to do so. Karma is a bitch. Period.
Racking up the bills, are we? Well shit, you know how much money you make and what you can afford to spend. So if you’re living about your means, that’s your fault. People have just become way too greedy, if you ask me, and trust me, I used to be one of them. I like nice things, sure. I’m a girl, shopping is what I do best! But lately, being that this is my first year out of my parents’ house and on my own, I haven’t really had the extra cash flow to buy all the things I’d like to. And you know what? I’m no less happy now, than I was when I could afford certain luxuries. It was hard at first, but you get used to it. There’s nothing wrong with treating yourself, that I firmly believe. But if it comes down to paying your PSE&G bill or buying that new pair of shoes, stop and think. Credit cards do not equal free money and unfortunately, many of us had to learn that the hard way. Stick to the necessities and learn how to save a bit and you’ll find the quality of life you lead is just the same in last season’s shoes.
To sum things up, I’m all about the New Year. I look forward to a new beginning and the chance to make positive change in my life. It’s just my personal experience that tells me if you relate your goals to a holiday beginning, they usually don’t come to fruition. So promise yourself you’ll lose that weight, go a head and quit smoking and open up a savings account. Just do it now and stick with it. Have a happy and healthy New Year and good luck!
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