Happy Birthday To Me!!!!!!

Ah, the birthday. It used to be a day for celebration and cake; but as you get older, and wiser, it’s not so much about getting presents anymore or going out with friends and family to toast the new year you’ve entered; instead it starts to become a ticking time bomb – more so for women than men, I think. We start to examine our lives up until this certain point and question whether or not we’ve accomplished all that we wanted to by this age. We start to get nervous and depressed that we’re getting older and that our bodies are going to shit; a new wrinkle here, some fat rolls there. It sucks. I have this strange relationship with age – I’ve always said, for as long as I can remember, that I won’t feel like a true adult until I’m 25 years old. Why? I have no clue; there’s absolutely no possible way for me to rationalize this bizarre train of thought. But either way, in my warped mind, even though I’ve really been an adult for quite some time now, I’m still a kid. So I’m going to do what every other normal kid does around their birthday, and create a list of all the things I’d like to have. Now I realize that a few of my requests are pretty much unreasonable and just fantasies that I could only hope would one day be true, but knowing that I’ll never receive any of these things is fine – a girl can dream, can’t she?

First, and most important, I’d really like for someone to give me the Chi by Farouk hair straightening iron. It’s almost a crime that I don’t have this fabulous styling tool yet, because it creates the most sensational hair styles that I’ve ever seen – I need it!



Next, I think I’d like to have a new car; a car of my own, because right now I drive both of my boyfriend’s cars, and although I’m very appreciative of him letting me use his vehicles, I’d rather just have something that’s mine. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just as long as it’s good on gas, has a manual transmission and isn’t too girly – I’m not that kind of cutesy car owner.

Third, I’d like some new work-out clothes for they gym. I know it’s not a fashion show there, but some of the girls have some really cute sports bras and pants and sneakers, and I want some too.

Fourth, I’d like some money. I don’t care how much, whatever you can afford is fine – preferably cash, please.





Fifth, I’d like for my tattoo artist to give me a really great deal on finishing my sleeve. Everyone I know that gets a lot of work done eventually gets some great deal from the person who tattoos them. So Chris, I think I’ve given you plenty of business over the years – so please, for my birthday, can you finish my arm for, I don’t know, let’s say, $150?

Sixth, I’d really like to go on a shopping spree at someone else’s expense. I certainly don’t have the money for it, but I could really use some new clothes – so who wants to be my sugar daddy?

Seventh, I’d like for every single abandoned, abused and/or neglected pet to be provided a safe and loving home. It’s terribly sad to watch these ASPCA commercials and see that there is so much cruelty to animals taking place in this country. If I had the space, I’d take them all in, but I don’t, so I can’t – and I’m asking you to help me out on this.




Eighth, I’d like my dad’s band to play a friggin’ show already! You guys kick ass and I want to see you outside of the studio, in a bar and rocking out!

Ninth, I’d really, really love for my manicures and pedicures to be paid for - for life. Seriously. Even though it’s a pretty miniscule amount of money to get your nails done (well, only if you just do a manicure – when you throw in the tootsies it adds up), it’s something I just don’t always want to spend the money on – but I hate having ugly, un-kept nails. So, for the next 60 years or so, I’d really love to be able to primp my nails and not pay for it.

And finally, I know I really shouldn’t ask for this and that it’s kind of tacky – but I don’t really care. I’d really love it if my boyfriend would pop the damn question already. Come on Angelo, it’s been over 10 years buddy; shit or get off the pot!(Oh, and as a small side note: I'd really love it if Dustin Kensrue would serenade me at the wedding!!!)




So there it is. I must say, I don’t think that my list is really that unreasonable, after all. So maybe there’s a slight chance that I might actually get something from here that I really want! I’ll keep my fingers crossed. Other than that, I guess I better live it up, because this is officially, to me anyway, my last year of being a kid – from here on out it’s adulthood all the way. That sure came fast!